Can love Conquer All?

Short answer is...no. But, there is a solution.

Your definition of Love is going to matter when we are asking this question.

Now, I want you to look at the three definitions of Love that I lay out, pick the one you agree with the most, and then we'll have a talk.

1. To love is to consume, for my pleasure and satisfaction, my partner's soul, future and resources while letting them have little to none of mine because they are inherently bad due to patriarchy or feminism, which means they will do this to me

   
   

2. To love is me doing all I can do in my power and resources to promote the good calling of life that my spouse has as I reframe from consuming their potential through my unvirtuous desires and suffer-well with them and for them. And they do this for me.

   
   

3. To love is to do what I can for my partner while things are good, and when things aren't good-enough for me, I go find someone else who will treat me best since I need to love myself.

   
   
   
   

   

   Figured Out Your Love Definition? Go On Reading Then.

   
   
   
   

   Which one do you agree with most?

   
   

   I'm 100% setting you up to hurt your feelings, because only one of those definitions is the definition of "love" that will actually sustain a relationship through the inevitable hard times...and you know which one it is. And it is probably not the one that you actually agree with.

   
   

   Or you're going to make believe that you agree with definition 2, but look at your life. Have you acted that way with those you've been in relationships with? Be honest.

   
   

   Let's say that definition 2 is the right one and you're single or in a terrible marriage. What do you do with this knowledge?

   
   

   If you're single, you're a bit in luck. You can start acting like this kind of man or woman and you will attract the kind of man or woman that you're looking for. If you're already acting like a husband or wife before even dating someone, and the life choices you make reflect that of a husband or wife, and not of a casual person, you're actually all set. I've seen this work many times.

   
   

   You're in a bad marriage? This one is tough. You're going to have to figure out if your spouse will take definition 2, which is the Enlightenment Definition of Love, and rework your whole marriage around it. That's possible to do. Not perfectly at first and both of you will have to give each other grace and promote each other even when one of you just does the right thing slightly right. Maybe they do 10% of the good thing, well reward that because I bet it was 0% before. And then they reward you for doing 10% of a good thing and you'll soon find that you two will be at 80% of good things and rewarding each other and having a pretty decent marriage in a short period of time.
   

   This is all tricky, and a blog post isn't going to save you from the misery of loneliness. So, you and I, let's get you into the kind of marriage that you want.
   

   
   

   

   Or...Stay Miserable? That seems silly.