Beliefs That Ruin Your Marriage – Conqueror vs Contender - Part 2

The Belief that’s Ruining Your Marriage: “Every hardship in the marriage is the evil doing of my spouse’s power over me so the only thing to learn is how to conquer my oppressor.”

Post-Modern Marriage in the Wild

Let’s take this from the perspective of a wife.

You see your husband as bad because you believe in the patriarchy. Fair enough, let’s take this idea of the patriarchy seriously and continue the thoughts.

You're married to a man that's part of the patriarchy. That’s problematic.

But when the marriage is good, it’s good. You can build your finances, family and sex life together.

But, inevitably, it will get bad. Some conflict will come up. Now, if your core belief is that all men are evil due to patriarchy, you have no choice but to see your husband as your oppressor, as to keep your belief consistent.

And if he is your oppressor, you need to defeat him in every argument.

You must conquer to be safe.

The problem with conquering in a marriage is that has a byproduct of distrust, resentment, and hate.

Congrats, You won your argument and lost your spouse

Every time you conquer, instead of contend, divorce becomes more of a reality. And this belief Ruins Your Marriage.

You need to learn how to be a contender so you no longer continue to be a miserable conqueror.

Now we need the opposite belief.

The Belief That’ll Save Your Marriage: Every problem in our marriage is an opportunity for us to contend our way to a creative solution so we gain an unrevealed treasure as the end, which will Save Our Marriage.